Permata yang dicari~


Help me to decide

Why should I grieve because of a thorn?
Once it had made laughter known to me.
Whatever you lost through the stroke of destiny,
know it was to save you from adversity.
One small affliction keeps off greater afflictions;
one small loss prevents greater losses.


I dont know much. I have been comforting myself to accept things. Till now, im struggling still. Fighting the battle within. Trying to rationalize to myself. “God knows best”…


Sometimes i wonder why am i so weak, sensitive and emotional over matters. Is it just me or it’s a natural feelings and emotions to feel so? Haiz.. God, life is so hard. I just need You to be strong. I fall so many times and i knw i will fall again.. Make me stand. Make me strong and increase my endurance. I need to relax. To feel Your love..

Future is the unseen world. I will never know what would happen. I anticipate too much in life. I think too much. Why does the confidence fade when i need it? Really…

Deep down my heart. I really love You. I ever compromised my love for You. And that was a big and catasrrophic mistake. Oh dear… let not that happen again.. I just cant imagine living here in this world knowing that You are not pleased with me..

She is very far from me. He left me. And i realize i have no one to talk to when i need most. Not even my parents..  Only then i think and really feel You are so closed to me. I feel Your presence. I know You see me crying and begging in front of you. Your presence comforts me even when i dont say a word..

Now that i have to decide. I need You to help me to decide. What may seem nice and good to me would not necessary be so. You know best. I know this is a major decision to make. And i cant move on without Your consent. Please give indication- whether it is bad or good. I will accept.


Thank You God =)

I am not crying because of the bill….

Taken from

A man reached 70 years of age and he faced a disease; he could not urinate. The doctors informed him that he was in need of an operation to cure this disease. He agreed to have the operation done as the problem was giving him much pain for days.


When the operation was completed, his doctor gave him the bill which covered all the costs. The old man looked at the bill and started to cry. Upon seeing this the doctor told him that if the cost was too high then they could make some other arrangements. The old man said “I am not crying because of the money but I am crying because Allah let me urinate for 70 years and He never sent me a bill.”


…and if you try to count the blessings of Allah, never will you be able to count them…


Surah Ibrahim Allah states that the servants are never able to count His blessings, let alone thank Him duly for them.


In Sahih Al-Bukhari it is recorded that the Messenger of Allah( Peace and blessings be upon him) used to supplicate;


«اللَّهُمَّ لَكَ الْحَمْدُ غَيْرَ مَكْفِيَ وَلَا مُوَدَّعٍ وَلَا مُسْتَغْنًى عَنْهُ رَبَّنَا»

 O Allah ! All praise is due to You, without being able to sufficiently thank You, nor ever wish to be cutoff from You, nor ever feeling rich from relying on You; our Lord!


 It was reported that Prophet Dawud peace be upon him, used to say in his supplication, “O Lord! How can I ever duly thank You, when my thanking You is also a favor from You to me’’ Allah the Exalted answered him, “Now, you have thanked Me sufficiently, O Dawud,’’ meaning, `when you admitted that you will never be able to duly thank Me.’


Tafsir Ibn Kathir


ps: we tend to overlook things. we neglect Allah most of the time. We rarely thank Him. Without His blessing, we can never even breathe..

 Oh dear Allah… forgive us 😦

Oh God.. Im sorry :(

O Allah..

it hurts when i have to let go the things i really love..
it hurts when i have to lose something that i really want..
it hurts, Allah…
it hurts..
but believe me, O Allah..
i will feel hurt most when i know that i have hurt You..
it hurt most, Allah..
believe me..
believe me….
I realize that i can never live without Your mercy..
I realize that i can never smile without the concious that You are pleased with me..
I realize that i can never lead my life if You are unhappy with me..
I am sorry..
I am really really sorry..
For i have neglected You for long time..
For i have loved others more than i should love You..
For i have prioritized others more than i should..
Even then…
You still gives me food to eat.. when i am not supposed to eat what i shouldnt eat
You still gives me eyes to see.. when i am not supposed to see what i shouldnt see
You still gives me ears to hear.. when i am not supposed to hear what i shouldnt hear
You still gives me skin to touch.. when i am not supposed to touch what i shouldnt touch
You still give the air im breathing now.. when i have done tonnes of mistake..
How can someone not fall for You??
You are very nice Allah..
You are very kind Allah..
You are great Allah..
but i forget..
im so occupied with this world..
im so busy with my life..
im so so so busy about myself..
I can never forgive  myself if this were to happen again..
how can i do that to You Allah…
im such an arrogant slave..
im not thankful to You…
i feel embarrased Allah..
im embarrased…
You dont let me to see him..
but please Allah…
let that subsitute with my meeting with You one day…
thats my only wish…
Destinasi Cinta 
Menyingkap tirai hati
Mengintai keampunan
Di halaman subur rahmatMu, Tuhan
Tiap jejak nan bertapak
Debu kejahilan
Akan ku jirus dengan madu keimanan
Tak ternilai airmata dengan permata
Yang bisa memadamkan api neraka
Andai benar mengalir dari nasuha nurani
Tak kan berpaling pada palsu duniawi
Destinasi cinta yang ku cari
Sebenarnya terlalu hampir
Hanya kabur kerana dosa di dalam hati
Telah ku redah daerah cinta
Yang lahir dari wadah yang alpa
Tiada tenang ku temui
Hanya kecewa menyelubungi
Ku gelintar segenap maya
Dambakan sebutir hakikat
Untuk ku semai menjadi sepohon makrifat
Moga dapat ku berteduh di rendang kasihMu
Namun ranjaunya tidak akan sunyi
Selagi denyut nadi belum berhenti
Durjana syaitan kan cuba menodai
Segumpal darah bernama hati
Destinasi cinta Ilahi
Lestarikan wadi kalbuku, oh Tuhanku
Leraikan aku dari pautan nafsu
Biarpun sukar bagiku melamar redha-Mu
Namun masihku mengharap ampunan-Mu
Wahai Tuhanku.. Ya Allah…






Biarpun sukar bagiku melamar redhaMu..
namun masihku mengharap ampunanMu…

Wake up for Fajr Salah

Wake up 4 Fajr Salah

A man woke up early in order to pray the Fajr Prayer
 at the masjid. He got dressed, made his ablution and was on his way to the masjid. On his way to the masjid, the man fell and his clothes got dirty.

He got up, brushed himself off, and headed home. At home, he changed his clothes, made his ablution, and was, again, on his way to the masjid.

On his way to the masjid, he fell again and at the same spot! He, again, got up, brushed himself off and headed home. At home he, once again, changed his clothes, made his ablution and was on his way to the masjid.

On his way to the masjid, he met a man holding a lamp. He asked the man of his identity and the man replied I saw you fall twice on your way to the masjid, so I brought a lamp so I can light your way.’ The first man thanked him profusively and the two where on their way to the masjid.

Once at the masjid, the first man asked the man with the lamp to come in and pray Fajr with him. The second man refused. The first man asked him a couple more times and, again, the answer was the same. The first man asked him why he did not wish to come in and pray. The man replied,
‘I am Satan (devil/evil)’

The man was shocked at this reply. Satan went on to explain, ‘I saw you on your way to the masjid and it was I who made you fall. When you went home, cleaned yourself and went back on your way to the masjid, Allah forgave all of your sins.
I made you fall a second time, and even that did not encourage you to stay home, but rather, you went back on your way to the masjid.
Because of that, Allah forgave all the sins of the people of your household .

I was AFRAID if i made you fall one more time, then Allah will forgive the sins of the people of your village , so i made sure that you reached the masjid safely!’

So do not let Satan benefit from his actions. Do not put off a good that you intended to do as you never know how much reward you might receive from the hardships you encounter while trying to achieve that good.